UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Have you ever avoided dealing with a problem because facing it felt too overwhelming, uncomfortable, or scary? In this episode, I share a story from my own life that shows exactly how much worse problems can become when we avoid addressing them. We’ll look at why your brain is so drawn to avoidance, even when you know intellectually that avoiding something will not make it disappear. I explain what is happening when your brain tries to protect you from discomfort and why the short-term relief of avoidance often creates bigger problems later. You’ll learn how to identify the problems you may be avoiding, understand the emotions underneath that avoidance, and start approaching difficult situations with more courage and clarity. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/536 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you find yourself comparing yourself to every woman you see when you are out with your partner? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about hyper-vigilantly scanning other women and feeling like you are constantly being ranked against them. I share why this pattern is not a personal failure, but a result of the way women are socialized to see other women as competition for attention, validation, and being chosen. You’ll hear why the solution is not trying to prove that you are the most attractive person in the room, but building a sense of your own value that is not dependent on your appearance or someone else’s approval. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/535 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What does it really take to own your success? In this episode, I’m joined by two of my clients, Cecilie Nielsen and Megan Negendank, to talk about what happened when they stopped treating their goals as proof of their worth and started building a stronger relationship with themselves. We discuss what it looks like to grow a business, achieve ambitious goals, and still learn how to trust yourself, take care of yourself, and enjoy the life you are creating. Cecilie and Megan share the mindset shifts that helped them move through fear, burnout, self-criticism, and uncertainty while continuing to grow. You’ll hear why success does not eliminate doubt, why the goal itself is not the thing that creates fulfillment, and how trusting yourself can change the way you approach entrepreneurship, challenges, and the next big thing you want to create. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/534 Learn more about the Mission Impossible Mastermind here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/mim Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Megan's work: https://www.lovehealgrow.com/ Learn more about Cecilie's work: https://www.cn8.co.uk/

Why does planning a wedding so often bring up feelings of not being good enough? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about why wedding planning can trigger insecurities around your body, age, money, and worth. I explain how weddings have become tied up with social expectations, commercialization, and the pressure to create a perfect version of yourself. You'll hear how thought work can help you untangle the beliefs underneath those feelings, question the unrealistic standards you are holding yourself to, and decide what your wedding is actually about for you. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/533 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

My book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold! Click here to order yours: unfuckyourbrain.com/book

We are all going to age. So why are women constantly being sold the idea that aging is something we should fight, prevent, or fix? In this episode, I unpack why the entire concept of “anti-aging” is worth questioning and how the pressure to look younger keeps women focused on monitoring, improving, and judging themselves instead of living their actual lives. I talk about why anti-aging is an impossible goal, how beauty standards shape the way women relate to themselves, and why changing your appearance cannot create the feelings you are actually looking for. You’ll learn how to take back authority over your own thoughts about aging and build a relationship with yourself that is not based on constantly trying to improve or fix who you are. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/532 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When you are struggling to accept a painful reality, the question is not just “Why am I resisting this?” but “What am I afraid I will have to feel if I accept it?” In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about her mother’s cognitive impairment diagnosis and why she cannot bring herself to learn more about what it might mean. You’ll learn why acceptance is not something you can force by gathering more information, and how exploring the thoughts and emotions underneath your resistance can help you process difficult situations with more compassion. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/531 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you wish you could stop caring so much about what other people think? The problem is, you can't just tell your brain to stop caring and expect it to magically let go. In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women are stuck worrying about other people’s opinions and why the solution is not caring less about what they think, but caring more about what you think. You’ll learn why your brain fixates on other people’s judgments, how women are socialized to prioritize external approval, and why the thoughts you are afraid other people have about you are often the thoughts you still believe yourself. I show you how to build new beliefs that actually create freedom, so you can stop organizing your life around imagined opinions and start trusting your own perspective. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/530 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you want to share your ideas more boldly, but find yourself holding back because you’re afraid of how people will react? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about becoming a more provocative thought leader in her business and what to do when fear of criticism gets in the way. I share what this has looked like in my own business, from putting off topics I knew would push people’s buttons to working through the fear of backlash as I continue to grow. We talk about why you do not need to find the perfect thoughts that make you feel completely confident before you take action, and why learning to move forward while feeling uncomfortable is part of doing meaningful work. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/529 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episode, I share a recent moment when I realized I was doing exactly this in my own life. I discuss why your brain loves to confuse “this is true right now” with “this will always be true,” and how that keeps you stuck fighting reality instead of solving the actual problem. You’ll hear how telling myself the truth helped me make better decisions, ask for support, and stop wasting energy resisting what was already true. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/528 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach yourself around a circumstance that is actually a thought, and how getting clear on what is really happening is the first step to changing the way you feel. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/527 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you. In this episode, I explain why that entire framework is backwards and why the point of asking is not just getting the answer you want. I break down why your brain is not a reliable predictor of what is possible, how fear of your own thoughts and emotions can keep you from speaking up, and why the most important outcome of asking is becoming someone who tells the truth about what she wants. Because when you stop making the ask about whether you get a yes, you stop handing other people control over what you believe you are allowed to want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/526 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you have to choose between staying home with your kids and contributing financially to your family? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about feeling torn between these two goals. We unpack why your brain may be creating a false conflict and how shifting your thinking can help you see more options for creating the life you actually want. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/525 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

So much of the self-help world teaches us that the solution to our problems is to become a better, more healed, more secure version of ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, to challenge that idea and talk about why self-worth starts with acknowledging who you actually are, not trying to erase the parts of yourself you do not like. Dr. Franco and I talk about why insecurities are not proof that something is wrong with you, how striving to be “securely attached” can become another form of self-rejection, and why acknowledging your full internal experience is the first step toward change. Listen in to learn why healing is not about becoming someone else, but about creating a relationship with yourself where you can acknowledge the full truth of who you are and still know you are worthy. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/524 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Dr. Franco's books and work: https://drmarisagfranco.com/

Do you have an inner monologue that is constantly keeping score, reminding you what you accomplished, and trying to prove that you’re doing enough? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who has an inner monologue that tracks everything she accomplishes as a way to prove her worth. You’ll hear why trying to force your brain to be quiet usually backfires, and what to do instead when you catch yourself in these thought loops. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/523 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What if you do know what you want, but you’ve just gotten really good at talking yourself out of it? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women feel disconnected from their own desires and why “I don’t know what I want” is often not the truth. I explain how we learn to prioritize what we should want, what will make other people happy, and what feels safe over what we actually desire. You’ll learn why you don’t need a perfect reason or justification for wanting something, how to start listening to your own voice again, and why being honest about even small wants is the first step toward creating the life you actually want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/522 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear why the goal is not to eliminate sadness or anger, but to stop fighting the emotions that are keeping you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/521 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way to speak up without either exploding or shutting down. You'll learn how to separate what you can control from what you cannot when you are dealing with other people’s choices, and why speaking up for yourself does not require you to be perfectly calm, perfectly right, or perfectly regulated first. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/520 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or continuing to fuel them with the same thoughts on repeat. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/519 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities? In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky, to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every ask like you're begging, and why there is more than one path to creating the life and career you want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/518 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a character flaw gives you the ability to actually grow. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/517 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want. This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or checking out, get curious about the thoughts driving those reactions, and start separating the facts of a situation from the story your brain creates about it. The goal is not to judge yourself for these patterns, but to understand what problem your brain is trying to solve so you can choose a different response. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/516 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I also share a simple exercise to help you separate facts from the stories your brain creates, so you can start noticing the evidence you have been ignoring and build a different relationship with your thoughts. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/514 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is the first step to making choices from confidence instead of fear. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/513 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last. You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become automatic, and why flexible, forgiving practice aligns with the way your brain actually learns. This Greatest Hits episode gives you a fresh approach to habit change that reduces shame, removes pressure, and helps you make lasting changes without needing to be perfect. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/512 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/511 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

It’s so easy to get burned out by the nonstop flood of political news, social pressure, work, and everything else we carry. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can choose how you engage, stay informed, and still be fully present in your own life without sacrificing your happiness, and my guest this week is a great example of doing just that. I'm joined by Zerlina Maxwell, a SiriusXM radio host, author, and political analyst, to talk about reclaiming her time, attention, and happiness while staying engaged with American politics and media. We discuss how gender, race, and social expectations shape the pressure women feel to exhaust themselves and why making intentional choices matters. Tune in to learn how to take ownership of your happiness, set boundaries around your time and attention, and show up in the world on your own terms. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/510 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Follow Zerlina Maxwell on Instagram: instagram.com/zerlinamaxwell/

Do you notice old patterns creeping back in when you start dating someone new, even after making real progress on your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who finds herself feeling needy and seeking validation in new relationships. We unpack why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how understanding what’s going on in your thoughts can help you navigate these familiar patterns without judgment. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/509 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

If you’ve ever answered “fine” when you weren’t really fine, this episode is for you. Saying “fine” may feel safe in the moment, but it trains your brain to ignore your desires, feelings, and needs, leaving you disconnected from yourself, burnt out, and frustrated. In this episode, I explore why socialization and evolutionary wiring make women suppress anger, disappointment, and discomfort to avoid judgment, and why that tiny word hides so much more than you realize. You'll hear the two steps you can take today to start rewiring this pattern in your brain and rebuild your connection to yourself. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/508 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Does receiving feedback make you spiral into shame, anxiety, or self-doubt? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who struggles to separate her self-worth from professional critique. You'll hear why those intense feelings are actually avoided emotions showing up, how your brain prioritizes short-term discomfort over thoughtful response, and why trying to get through the feelings quickly keeps you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/507 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

If you’ve ever eaten a sandwich when you really wanted dumplings, turned down help you needed, or stayed silent in a meeting because it felt safer to bite your tongue, listen in. Your brain focuses on the short-term pain of asking for what you want and the anxiety or shame that follows, but avoiding those feelings comes at a much bigger cost. In this episode, I slow everything down and examine how a single choice, from the tiniest to the biggest, can ripple across your day, your relationships, and even your career. You'll learn why socialization and internalized beliefs train women to suppress wants and prioritize others, and how speaking up even when it feels awkward is the key to preserving your energy, your agency, and your connection to what matters. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/506 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Why do we wear makeup, and does it even matter? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about makeup and body image. I explain why wearing makeup is a personal choice and often a form of self-expression, not a reflection of whether you have done the inner work to love your body. I also tackle a question about humility and how it can be useful in managing your mind. This episode shows how examining the thoughts behind your choices, about humility, appearance, and social expectations can shift your perspective and reduce unnecessary self-judgment. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/505 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Joy doesn’t always arrive when you expect it, and sometimes it shows up when life feels the hardest. In this episode, I talk about making space for joy with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, 5x bestselling author, and host of the podcast Everything Happens. We discuss why happiness is overhyped, how microjoys and unexpected moments can interrupt your day, and why cultural narratives often make women feel like they are failing if life isn’t constantly “good.” This conversation is a reminder that joy is not something you can control or manufacture. It shows up when you are paying attention, when you let your guard down, and when you allow yourself to be human. Listening will help you notice the small delights, accept life’s unpredictability, and welcome joy into your day, even when everything else feels messy or uncertain. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/504 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Kate's work, books, podcast, and more here: https://katebowler.com/

Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to a sibling and feeling stuck in resentment and rivalry? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why most of that tension is coming from your own thoughts and judgments, and how noticing those patterns can change the way you relate to your family. I also answer a listener question about parenting a child with a chronic illness. Many parents feel anxious because they believe it is their job to control their child’s health. I break down why the anxiety comes not from the medical reality but from the thoughts you're having. This episode is all about seeing where your reactions really come from, reducing unnecessary stress, and interacting with your family and loved ones with more clarity and ease. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/503 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When is the last time you actually asked for what you wanted when you were nervous? Not hinted, not hoped someone would notice, not talked yourself out of it. In this episode, I explore why women often suppress desires, needs, and wants in daily life, from small asks like an hour to yourself to bigger moments like negotiating at work or in relationships. You'll hear why thoughts like "I shouldn’t need this" or "it won’t matter" stop you from asking, even when it’s possible to get what you want. I also explain how to start noticing and understanding these patterns in your own life so you can begin to act differently. This episode helps you reconnect with your wants, build confidence in asking for them, and create a life that reflects your real needs and preferences. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/502 Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Many people assume coaching is only for those who want to run a full-time coaching business, but coaching skills can actually be applied in almost any role. In this bonus episode, I explore three ways you can integrate coaching into other jobs. Whether you’re a manager, team leader, HR professional, or working for another coach, understanding the mental models that drive behavior can transform how you lead, influence, and support others. Even if you never plan to coach professionally, this episode highlights the ways coaching changes how you show up in your own life. By learning to notice the thoughts behind behavior, take responsibility for your own reactions, and approach others with curiosity, you can improve communication, manage reactivity, and build better relationships at work and at home. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-other-jobs Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool when it comes to changing how you think about your body. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about using intentional visual exposure on social media to improve body image. I explain why deliberately engaging with images that reflect diverse and relatable bodies can help retrain your brain’s perceptions, and why it is important to practice these thoughts in a variety of situations, not just while scrolling social media . Then, I tackle what happens when a partner shuts down during an argument. You'll hear why labeling your partner as sulking or ignoring amplifies your reaction, and why taking responsibility for your feelings is the key to staying grounded and connected. This episode shows how to separate thoughts from circumstances so you can feel less desperate, more in control, and more present in your relationships and your own mind. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/501 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you been wondering whether coaching could be a career path for you, or something you bring into the work you're already doing? If you can't stop thinking about that, this episode is for you. What it means to be a coach today is far more varied and interesting than most people assume, and most of you are better suited for it than you realize. I explain who is well-suited for coaching, what it actually entails, and how it can fit into different professional and personal contexts. I also address the misconceptions that tend to stop people before they start, including MLMs, pyramid schemes, and the idea that you can only make money by coaching other coaches. Coaching is a real job, it can be full-time, part-time, or integrated into your current career, and a solid certification makes all the difference in building something sustainable. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-career Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious

Women often hold themselves back in ways they don’t even notice. This week, I explore the two biggest ways this happens: not asking for what you want and not telling the truth about how you feel. I break down how socialization and internalized beliefs train women to downplay their desires, soften their emotions, and edit themselves in real time, leaving them disconnected from what they actually want and who they really are. You’ll hear why these two patterns show up across careers, relationships, and daily life, and how they subtly shape the decisions you make and the opportunities you take. I explain why wanting and feeling is not the problem, and why the real work is learning to notice the thoughts that keep you from expressing yourself fully. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/500 Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil

Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear. I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeking external validation. You'll hear why prioritizing other people’s needs over your own can feel like love and connection, but it actually undermines your authenticity, and how to cultivate genuine connection instead. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/499 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Think about something you really wanted, something you worked for or waited for, or told yourself would finally change how you felt about your life. Maybe it was a job, a relationship, a business milestone, or a body you thought would make you feel confident. And then you got it, and the feeling did not last. That is the human void, and in this episode I explain what it is, why it shows up even after achievement, and how to relate to it without letting it control you. You'll learn why this restlessness is part of being human, the difference between being philosophically happy with your life and feeling happy in the moment, and why understanding this helps you stop auditing your life against impossible standards. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/498 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Managing your mind during PMS can feel impossible, even when you know thought work and self-coaching strategies. In this episode, I answer a listener question about how hormonal changes or cyclical patterns affect emotional resilience. I also tackle a question about disappointment and whether feeling let down is a cop-out. As you’ll hear, managing your thoughts and feelings intentionally can change how you respond to difficult moments, from PMS to social or personal setbacks. This episode shows you how to separate physical or situational challenges from the stories your mind tells you about them, helping you stay grounded and in control of how you experience your life. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/497 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

There is one thought that quietly sabotages almost every goal you care about, and you probably don’t even realize it’s a thought because it sounds like a fact. In this episode, I break down the three words that stop us from following through on what we want and explain why believing this thought can make it feel impossible to achieve the results you are working toward. Plus, I share a three-step practice you can use to rewire this pattern. Listen in, because changing this thought can be the difference between quitting too soon and finally seeing the results of the work you have been doing all along. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/496 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever find yourself planning for the future and imagining how perfect it's going to be? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about fantasies and expectations. I explore why romanticizing the future can take you out of the present and why trying to control your thoughts about someone else only makes you feel more out of control. I break down how our brains trick us into conflating circumstances and thoughts, showing why happiness and fulfillment are created by the thoughts you are having now, not by money, experiences, or other people. You’ll hear why striving to reject negative emotions or desires only gives them power, and why chasing validation from others is ultimately about how you relate to yourself. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/495 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/